Dr. Howell’s Reflections
Everyday, Dr. Howell writes a reflection, inquiry prompt, and a prayer.
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Making Peace with the Past Part 6
December 4, 2024
We make peace with our pasts by giving ourselves a healthy measure of self-compassion and forgiving ourselves. However, this is not as simple as it may sound. It takes time to make peace with our regrets because we must excavate the layers of our guilt and remorse. So, in order to heal, when each memory surfaces, instead of condemning ourselves or being consumed with shame, we see ourselves as products of growth, as people who acted unconsciously, and as a human who, like all humans, falls short. After the sometimes-excruciating process of memory review, we are now in a position to ask for forgiveness from ourselves and then from God.
Making Peace with the Past Part 5
December 3, 2024
When Jesus said,” Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called the children of God” he blessed all peacemaking—even the peace we make within our souls. So, making peace with ourselves furthers the cause of peacemaking and, at the same time, God affirms us God’s children.
Making Peace with the Past Part 4
December 2, 2024
Most of us human beings share the characteristic of needing to make Peace with ourselves. We prefer closure to loose ends, and inner calm to chaos. Most favor harmony over discord. This characteristic reminds me of the child who “fesses up” to get things off their chest before going to bed and, on the other end of the spectrum, the dying person who clears their conscience before entering the next life….
Making Peace with the Past Part 3
December 1, 2024
When a person says, “I want to redeem myself” or “Let me redeem myself,” they are saying they want a clean slate—they made an error and want to make it good. This means they need to do or give something to “even the score” as it were.
Making Peace with the Past Part 2
November 30, 2024
One of the ways of making peace with the past is to ask ourselves what haunts us and why. Doing this may not be as simple as it sounds because when we invite hurtful memories into our awareness, we naturally re-experience the hurt. For example, many victims of trauma do everything they can to avoid talking about the trauma because it is excruciating to re-visit it.
Making Peace with the Past Part 1
November 29, 2024
We judge our pasts, but we were not the people we are now when we lived that past. Therefore, we tend to judge our behaviors, actions, feelings, decisions, and thoughts of the past by who we are now. Monday morning quarterbacking gives the inner critic a license to judge ourselves harshly. If we try to make peace with our past by judging and punishing ourselves, we do ourselves a disservice. We can experience shame and remorse for past instances, which can weigh heavily. We can also live in the regret that, “If only I had done such and such my life would be far better than it is now.”
Going Deeper Part 7
November 28, 2024
The grains of the selfish ego dwell deep down in the subconscious. They reside in the shadow and the pain body. They come to light only in consciousness. Only then can we consciously decide to live in those instincts or find a life somewhere else. In spiritual consciousness, we know that our soul is the “somewhere else” where we can dwell.
Going Deeper Part 6
November 27, 2024
When conscious, we reject the idea of stewing in the juice of self-pity or anger. In consciousness, the ego cannot diminish our self-esteem. Instead, we go down into the depths of our being to discover our amazing soul qualities. The qualities of self-compassion, trust, strength, mercy, goodness, hope, and power, to name a few, lift our awareness and redirect our energy into furthering our purpose. Realizing our essential goodness is beautiful because we're reminded that we are of value and that even though we are disappointed in someone or ourselves, we are worthy.
Going Deeper Part 5
November 26, 2024
It is easy to hold grudges against others and ourselves when people disappoint us and when we disappoint ourselves. In large part, the disappointment is when expectations go unmet and people let us down. It isn't easy when we count on someone, and now we realize we can't count on them as we thought we could. And the same goes for ourselves: we counted on ourselves to be or do something, but we didn't come through.
Going Deeper Part 4
November 25, 2024
Sometimes, we think we cannot go any deeper. We have stretched our minds, imaginations, and capacities and consumed all the spiritual information we can. There is no more we can understand or comprehend.
Going Deeper Part 3
November 24, 2024
By what do we tabulate someone's value? There are many different interpretations and measurements of what some may be worth. These include religious, political, social, educational, business, and economic hierarchies, which rank individuals according to their status, accomplishments, power, etc. However, no genuine spiritual hierarchy ranks the true value of human beings.
Going Deeper Part 2
November 23, 2024
The hunger of our hearts gives us the will to go deeper. We want more of what feeds us. When I first learned about the Enneagram, it pulled many things together, wove many loose ends, and helped me understand the inherent amalgamation between psychology and spirituality. Because of its clarity, I experienced its powerful truths directly. Several times in my life I was hungry for more after being introduced to something deeply gratifying. The Enneagram keeps me hungry for more. Hunger for anything animates our will for it.
Going Deeper Part 1
November 22, 2024
As a kid learning to swim, I was scared of the deep end. One day at my friend Freddie’s house, I fell in the deep end and nearly drowned. Luckily, a teenage boy jumped in to save me. After that, I stayed in the shallow end, and when my friends enticed me to venture over my head, I refused. But eventually, I could swim anywhere in the pool. It just took time, practice, but most of all, will. Without the will to swim into the deep, even until this day, I would be confined to the shallow end. However, I know some people who never learned to swim—they were afraid of the water and closed their minds to learning. Some avoid being in and around water to this day.
The Good Life Part 7
November 21, 2024
Ultimately, we are in charge of our lives and make them whatever we choose. Of course, we are all affected by whichever government controls our nation, to weather and climate conditions, and illnesses. Yes, we make choices, and sometimes the things that happen to us, good and not so good, have nothing to do with our choices. But regardless of the overarching reality of life, we choose our responses to it.
The Good Life Part 6
November 20, 2024
In the spiritual life, we live The Good Life when connected to our divine spirit. This week our Daily Reflections on The Good Life include the Nine Fruits of the Spirit named by the Apostle Paul in his letter to the Galatians. These nine soul qualities are of supreme value. Today, we reflect on the last three Fruits of the Spirit.
The Good Life Part 5
November 19, 2024
It’s easy to be tricked by our culture’s fascination with the good life. Look at advertisements that feature young and beautiful models. They stand against the backdrop of elegant estates in front of fabulous automobiles, clad in haute couture with elegant jewelry. Such advertisements suggest that this is their life, and we can have it too. It elevates riches and privilege to a supreme value in our culture. It’s as if the people in the commercials have it all — youth, beauty, riches, and everything those things supposedly bring us. But if we were to go to the photo shoot when the ad is being filmed, we would likely find a rented Maserati, a castle booked for the day, and “borrowed” clothes and jewels. The model would be a struggling youth with a modest bank account and a family who, like all families, is dysfunctional. Even the truly rich and truly royal are humans with the same issues as everyone else. Nevertheless, the advertisements continue because they work — they appeal to the undying desire to attain bliss which our ego translates as being attainable through the material. However, these things cannot bring the authentic joy for which we yearn.
The Good Life Part 4
November 18, 2024
What are the qualities of spirit that make a good life? The Apostle Paul gave a wonderful list of such qualities in his letter to Galatians Chapter 5, verses 22-23. Paul’s nine fruits of the spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
The Good Life Part 3
November 17, 2024
A popular notion in America is that the Good Life is relatively free from struggle or pain. For some reason or reasons, the person has created a life in which they have all the good things they want and need. The good life also connotes a standard of living that affords protection from harm, access to good medical care, and mobility. There is also a hidden connotation: the person who lives the good life is somehow insulated from the pain and worries of those who do not live the good life. But that is an unrealistic definition. As we reflected upon earlier in the week, no one escapes the realities of pain, hardships, and suffering.