Making Peace with the Past Part 2

November 30, 2024

Making Peace with the Past Part 2

One of the ways of making peace with the past is to ask ourselves what haunts us and why. Doing this may not be as simple as it sounds because when we invite hurtful memories into our awareness, we naturally re-experience the hurt. For example, many victims of trauma do everything they can to avoid talking about the trauma because it is excruciating to re-visit it.

In years of treating people in the military for Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, I learned that most of these dear souls have a firewall between them and their trauma. It was like asking them to re-enter the combat zone if I asked them to tell me about their traumas.

So, how do we sort out what haunts us without bringing it to the forefront, and re-wounding us? The short answer is that we must first create sacred space in which to bring such memories to awareness. One of my spiritual directors, Reverend Ron del Bene, is a master of creating sacred space. 

Every time I entered his office, Ron had a fresh flower or a small branch of green on the table before us. There was always a lighted candle and an open Bible. He began all my direction sessions with a short random reading from holy scripture and a brief prayer. We were immediately in a sacred space. 

There is something so powerful about sacred space that it seems to transform even the molecules in the air and the neuropathways of our hearts and minds. We feel relaxed, safe, and held by something greater than ourselves. In sacred space, we are not re-wounded when thinking about something disturbing. It’s as if a force field around us prevents the memory from being experienced as it usually is. Divine presence neutralizes the memory, and we are able to deal with it much more effectively. 

Having someone to prepare sacred space for us and to be with us as we relive our memories is beautiful and healing. But we can create sacred space by ourselves. Whether with a special guide or alone, in sacred space we see more clearly what haunts us without experiencing the intensity of pain we usually feel when re-visiting the memory. Then we say the trauma out loud. It can be uttered in a prayer, a cry, or a wail. It can be uttered in holy conversation. In sacred space, the unspeakable is transformed into the speakable.

Spiritual practice: Create sacred space for yourself and speak the unspeakable. What is your response? 

Self-inquiry: Why would you like to be released from the haunts of the past? What keeps these haunts in your mind? 

Dear God, 

For all who cling to the traumas of the past, I pray they are led into the healing light of your sacred space. Amen