Making Peace with the Past Part 4

December 2, 2024

Making Peace with the Past Part 4

Most of us human beings share the characteristic of needing to make Peace with ourselves. We prefer closure to loose ends, and inner calm to chaos. Most favor harmony over discord. This characteristic reminds me of the child who “fesses up” to get things off their chest before going to bed and, on the other end of the spectrum, the dying person who clears their conscience before entering the next life….

Love is the parent of serenity and the need for serenity is the parent of our need for closure. Our spirits are more tranquil when we love because we’re aligned with our higher selves. Our souls want Peace, but our egos are determined to get what they want, so they are willing to endure the lack of peace to obtain what they want. Such discomfort frequently morphs into suffering. The ego is a mental structure that wants peace and love, but in its unhealthiest states, it is not in touch with the authentic love of the soul. Instead, the unhealthy ego creates mental imitations of peace and love and confuses the appearance of love   with genuine expressions of love.

An example is Paula, whose ego confuses being loved with being socially accepted. Therefore, when she and her husband moved to a new town, she did everything to receive an invitation to join a highly prestigious women’s club. Unfortunately, she was not chosen to be a member. As a result, Paula could no longer live in that town and begged her husband to find a new job elsewhere. Her unhealthy ego confused acceptance by a high-status organization with being loved and valued.

As time went on, Paula suffered greatly from repeated rejections. When she finally hit bottom, she realized she was a spiritual being, not just a personality. Her entire life changed because in a particularly difficult shock point, Paula finally claimed her actual value even if she was not accepted by those whose ranks were higher than hers. She trusted that she was created for a reason and that others nor their judgments were in charge of that reason.

She sought new friends who valued her soul and accepted her as she was. Paula looks back on her egocentric preoccupation with social status and wants to make peace with the part of her life that nearly took her down. An option was to shame herself for having chased such an illusion. But that is not the way of the soul. Instead, she made peace with her painful past by seeing it as part of her growth process. Nowadays, she is peaceful in any social group.

Frequently, the very things we struggle with give us the exact pain required to lead to the healing of a specific brokenness. Simply realizing this helps us make peace with our pasts.

Spiritual practice: Consider taking one of your most shame-ridden times and think of what spiritual insight or soul quality it led to.

Self-inquiry: Why would love be the parent of serenity for you?

Dear God,

I recall your scripture’s truth: “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.” Amen