Dr. Howell’s Reflections
Everyday, Dr. Howell writes a reflection, inquiry prompt, and a prayer.
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Life Giving Part 1
April 8, 2025
A baby’s birth is naturally life-giving because it expands our circle of love and, therefore, expands our life. Anything that brings more life and love into our sphere is life-giving. For example, family and friends are life-giving. Many of us have hobbies and organizations we consider life-giving. And there are other life-giving things we may not recognize so readily. These things may be taken for granted or simply overlooked, yet they are vital to living the spiritual life.
Energy and Will - Part 7
April 7, 2025
If we have relationships that drain us of our energy, it’s time for self-compassion and self-care. The people who drain us are usually unaware of what they are doing. They may drain other people too, but our feeding into their dependency needs, demands, and life narrative will sap us of our precious energies. If we have the courage, we might discuss these issues with the friend. But this is not always doable or the best approach. So, to preserve and redirect the relationship, it’s best to set boundaries kindly, and stick with them, or in a mature manner, discontinue the relationship.
Energy and Will - Part 6
April 6, 2025
Sometimes, our energies flow into our relationships. These are the people who mean the most to us, but it can include those who may drain us, distract us, or disintegrate us. Maybe they are people who, for some reason, we feel obligated to, or perhaps we feel sorry for them. Maybe the person is intriguing, insightful, or charismatic, and they draw us into them, but we end up with no fulfillment. We may have affinities for those with whom we have much in common and therefore feel kinship, but they may not have the same feelings toward us.
Energy and Will - Part 5
April 5, 2025
How do we direct the flow of our energy? What are our priorities, and how do we decide which ones get our attention? These questions can be answered when we look at what we are doing today and what we are working toward long term. Today is a microcosm of our priorities, and the many days of our life unfold our life’s purpose.
Energy and Will - Part 4
April 4, 2025
Though we are willing to expend energy on the things that give us joy, we can exhaust ourselves in the quest for happiness. When our children were small, we made the necessary trip to Disney World in Orlando, Florida. I say “necessary” because taking the family to Disney World has become an American ritual. Though we had a lot of fun at Disney World, I believe we went primarily because we didn’t want our kids to feel left out of their culture’s living fantasy.
Energy and Will - Part 3
April 3, 2025
Many human emotions take energy, but one of the most severely draining is grief. Mourning and grief upset our emotional equilibrium while draining precious energy from our minds, hearts, and bodies. Grief can be compared to a significant physical injury. For example, we may lose the functioning of a limb or an organ. Or the insult may cause us to be unable to think clearly. But it is our responsibility to learn to operate without that function. Things can’t continue as before the injury because we can’t do what we usually do. So, we must compensate for the lost functioning so that we can move in the world.
Energy and Will - Part 2
April 2, 2025
It takes energy to love and more energy to love the unlovable. Some people are not easy for us to love. There are many reasons for this: they could remind us of someone who traumatized us, they may traumatize us, or the person is aggressive or uncaring. They may have hurt or used us. Whatever the reason, we do not easily love the person. We may not even want to love them.
Energy and Will - Part 1
April 1, 2025
It takes energy to do anything, and that includes getting up in the morning. But have you ever thought of what gives you the energy to WANT to get up in the morning? Honestly, on many mornings I would like to languish in bed instead of facing the day. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a demanding or stressful day, but in bed, the warm covers seem much more enticing than anything else, so I ask myself, “Why get up?”
The Work - Part 7
March 31, 2025
Many spiritual practices increase our level of serenity. But perhaps the most effective spiritual practice is meditation. In meditation, we are grounded, still, and open to our higher mind. Simply quieting our mental activity and external stimulation reshapes our neuropathways and emotional response patterns. In settling our minds, we move past the chatter, and extraneous thoughts pass. The condition we achieve in meditation can remain with us after our meditation formally ends. If we notice that condition and work to keep it, we move through the world with tranquility. Negative emotions cannot readily take over in serenity and tranquility, negative emotions cannot ready take over.
The Work - Part 6
March 30, 2025
Saying what we think sometimes hurts others’ feelings and causes problems. This happens especially if our emotional center is running rampant. It is hard spiritual work to control emotions enough to consider what we say before we say it.
The Work - Part 5
March 29, 2025
Sometimes, the answer doesn’t come. Sometimes, the insights, ritual, or guidance don’t bring a resolution. Nothing works; however spiritual it may be. This situation calls us to do something that most of us resist doing at all costs. It’s the hardest spiritual work of all: surrender.
The Work - Part 4
March 28, 2025
Many of the circumstances and relationships on our journey of spiritual growth require hard work. For example, someone wants to take something from us or control us. Maybe they want to take advantage of the relationship or diminish us. Possibly they will not give us what we need or deserve. Maybe their intentions are good as far as they are concerned, but they are blind to the repercussions of their actions. Such scenarios happen all the time in marriages, families, businesses, organizations, political parties, cities, states and countries.
The Work - Part 3
March 27, 2025
Spiritual work is not confined to the academic study of spiritual ideas and their application. If that were true, then people who can’t read or study would be limited in their spiritual growth. We know from experience that spiritual growth happens in all lifestyles, regardless of culture, educational status, or the ability to study. Often, I think of the enslaved people in our country and the spiritual strength and wisdom that many of them must have achieved to exist in the most horrendous circumstances imaginable. They had no formal education, but they learned and grew spiritually.
The Work - Part 2
March 26, 2025
We have to swallow our pride to do the work. Our unchecked ego doesn’t want us to admit we were wrong or entertain other ways of being. But spiritual work calls for just that. It calls for us to let go of our unchecked ego and open our eyes to the higher things. Many spiritual searchers I know tell me that their spiritual journey began when their ego failed them. That’s when they swallowed their pride and started to do the work of study and practice.
The Work - Part 1
March 25, 2025
In graduate school, I read the book Siddhartha (1922) by Herman Hesse and discussed it with a fellow student. He was in a group who studied its teachings and other teachers such as George Gurdjieff. I will never forget my friend's words in explaining his group and what they studied. He said, “The group doesn’t just study the works of teachers; they do the work.” The words “the work” stood out to me. I had never really associated study with “work.”
The Little Things - Part 6
March 23, 2025
The anchor of any seacraft is only a fraction of its weight. Yet, it is one of the most vital parts of any boat. Anchors stabilize and keep the craft in place so that changing tidal or weather conditions do not affect the vessel. All ships entering a port of call are required to have anchors.
The Little Things - Part 5
March 22, 2025
She was only 17 and every day saw thousands of heavy body bags unloaded from planes. She asked, “Why?” But no answer was ever given…