Looking Ahead

December 27, 2023

In this holiday season, we reflect on our triumphs and shortfalls. We look at the year behind us and the one ahead. This process calls for great self-compassion. So often, when we take stock of our lives, we judge ourselves harshly. But that negates Christ's message that we are to love others as we love ourselves.

At first blush, Christ's message seems to mean that if we love others as much as we love ourselves, others will be sufficiently loved. But that is not the case. Many of us do not truly love ourselves. If we loathe ourselves, we do not care for the person we are. That person is unloved when she or he is battered by self-condemnation. They cannot love others any more than they experience love for themselves.

Then there are the people who seem to love themselves because they continuously cater to their wants and are self-absorbed. But sadly, many of these dear souls, plagued by narcissism, are compensating for deep-seated self-hatred. They, too, are limited in the love they hold for others.

Both self-loathing and narcissism block us from freely loving others. The Creator formed us in love, goodness, and delight. However, self-hatred and narcissism prevent us not only from accepting God's blessing and affirmation but also from extending our hearts' pure love to others.

Self-compassion opens the floodgate of love. Self-compassion first puts us in touch with the spiritual failures that plague us. But it also puts us in touch with our original blessing of goodness and the preciousness of our soul child. In self-compassion, we accept the Creator's blessing and forgiveness. Once redeemed, we can extend that redemption to others from whom we have withheld our love.

Loving well is not always giving others what they want or loving others the way we once loved them. Changing situations alter the types of love called for so that our love can be healthy.

Inquiry: In looking ahead, what self-condemnation may be blocking self-forgiveness and forgiving others?

Dear God,

I ask for your grace to accept your blessings, affirmation, and forgiveness. You accept me as I am and forgive me for my failures. Enable me to do the same for my brothers and sisters, so I may freely love them. Amen

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