Grief

June 28, 2023

For the soul, true immortality is not achieved by building monuments or by over-idealizing the lost person. The soul does not even seek to attain immortality because the soul IS already an immortal spirit. From its depths, the soul knows the lost one is alive in the spiritual realm. Therefore, the soul spiritually communes with the lost one and holds them in their heart. But these consolations do not do away with the soul's grief.

The soul is in a body and lives in two realms: earth and heaven. So, it weeps in the agony of grief. But the soul doesn't weep for the same reasons as does the unhealthy ego. Soul grief is the process of relinquishing from our depths the most treasured vessels of love that we have been privileged to experience on earth. The relationship between the two people's souls was enhanced by their physical, emotional and mental presence before death separated them. To remain in contact with the lost person, the soul moves from being in heaven and earth simultaneously to being more present in what Christ called "the kingdom of heaven." This process soothes their grief. The soul goes through its pain with the assurance that reunification with the lost one is already underway.

The unhealthy egos, however, deal with their stress by reverting to their fixations. They can deal with loss by being numb. They can resent that, in the loss, they were treated unfairly. They can fixate on attending to others instead of themselves. They can focus on their successful endeavors. They can embrace melancholia or withdraw and clutch to what it has. They can feel terrified of facing the loss. They can feel deprived and, consequently, compulsively plan for a solution. Finally, they can fixate on vengeance toward those they deem to be contributors to the loss.

The soul is here to advance toward the Divine. To this end, every loss creates space for more divine wisdom because the soul desires to comprehend the loss spiritually. In short, the soul seeks to comprehend more fully the meaning of the person in light of their spiritual destiny more so than on their absence. This is part of the soul’s grieving process.

Wisdom grows as the soul increasingly remembers that heaven is nearer than we ever thought and that our loved ones are closer than imaginable. The soul who’s left behind does the painful work of surrendering their lost person to God. This is agonizing because the soul's manifestation of God's love right here on earth is no longer a companion in body and spirit. But in its grief, the soul surrenders in the assurance of eventual reunification with the lost love. The unhealthy ego, however, is not equipped to do this internal shift.

Inquiry: Have you ever noticed the differences between soul and ego grief in you?

Dear God,

I pray to shift toward your presence in my every loss. Amen.

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