Knowing Others

July 28, 2023

A saying is going around: "What others think of you is none of your business.”

It's attributed to several people, but regardless of who said it first, we've all wondered what someone else thinks of us.

Many of us are insatiably curious about how we come off to others; we wonder if we are esteemed or disrespected. We wish we knew if we were seen as credible or not. We want to know our importance and whether our opinions matter to others. But we definitely would NOT like them to know our private thoughts about them.

For a second, imagine what the world would be like if we COULD read the thoughts of others about us. At first blush, that may seem good: everything is on the table; there would be transparency. Isn’t the Enneagram about knowing the truth and being conscious? But the opinions of others about us include the unflattering and potentially damaging. Some may be harsh, unfair or even cruel; others may be envious, aggressive, devious or resentful. Others may have a negative opinion, but they do not know that facts.

On the other hand, some private thoughts can be complimentary, admiring, loving, awestruck or may involve extreme attraction. Whether demeaning or flattering, if we knew the thoughts of others, our relationships would be altered.

The way the world is now, it is a great advantage that we do not know what everyone thinks of us. It’s great that their thoughts are none of our business. Yet in Christian spirituality, one day we will know everything: "For nothing is secret that will not be revealed, nor anything hidden that will not be known and come to light." Luke 8:17

Tomorrow we will reflect on why our thoughts must be private now and why, according to Christian spirituality, one day they will be known but not embarrassing or harmful.

Inquiry: Why are you glad your opinion about someone can’t be known to them, unless you tell them?

Dear God,

If I judge, please give me the awareness that I am being judged. Amen.

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