Knowing Others

July 31, 2023

The mental processes of others are important to know. For example, I saw a snake on the back porch when taking out the garbage one night last week. I am not in love with snakes, but I am not terrified of them. But Lark is horrified at even a picture of one. I knew that if I stayed on the porch too long, she would come out and see where I was. Then she would see the snake and have a heart attack. It was a giant reptile wrapped several times around a column like a candy stripe.

I knew Lark's mental process: first she’d wonder where I was if I didn't come right back inside. Then, she’d come out to the porch. But she’d find me as I was removing the snake; her shrieks would be so loud that neighbors would run over to see who was being murdered. So, I had no choice but to return to the house quickly. Then I had to decide on what she would think if I told her. I decided she would be less upset if I broke it to her gently and then tell her my plan for getting the snake off the porch. That worked.

If I had been unfamiliar with Lark's typical mental processing, things would not have gone as well. I am sure she knows my processes as well. This is where the Enneagram is a beautiful tool for relationships. Understanding others' mental processes helps us to love them more. Knowing the avoidances, traps, lies, anti-self actions, points of pride and passions is a huge help. Also, knowing someone's Virtue, Essential Aspects, and Holy Ideas is another bonus in understanding how they perceive and move in the world.

Inquiry: Do I realize the mental processes of the people I love or who I want to love?

Dear God,

Yikes, I was far more scared of Lark's shrieks than the snake. But in your mercy, you showed me a way. Amen.

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