Resilience

October 30, 2023

In this series, we are reflecting on the Enneagram of Resilience. Yesterday, we reflected on the aspect of resilience at Point Nine called Peaceful Confrontation. From Point Nine, we flow against our arrow toward our soul type at Point Three. At Point Three, another essential aspect of resilience is called Reality-Based Action. This means that we take action when we are traumatized, but we first embrace the realities of the situation, regardless of the pain involved.

If we know the reality of a situation, we can better deal with it. I get a lesson in that every day. Reading the bathroom scales each morning, for fear I have gained weight, takes grit. If I have gained weight, I must curb my appetite unless I want to see even more pounds tomorrow. Embracing reality may be opposed to my fantasies, but it saves me from real-life negative results.

I have had periods when I used magic instead of reality. Let’s use the small example of the bathroom scales again. Instead of stepping on the scales to see the naked truth, I magically believe I can self-monitor my weight without consulting the scales. So, under that supposition, I don’t need the scales or their moment of truth. This way, I have no risk of receiving unpleasant news every morning. I trust the illusion that I will magically stay at a healthy weight. But this way, I am unaware that I am gaining weight. I could not confront the truth until I looked at a photograph of myself.

Taking action is imperative if we are to meet our challenges with resilience. If that action is based on what is real, we have a greater chance of bouncing back from adversity. If that action is based on fantasy or wishful thinking, we have less opportunity to surmount and bounce back from real difficulties and their causes.

Inquiry: Have I taken reality-based action lately? If so, how did it go? If my action was fantasy-based, how did it go?

Dear God,

Thanks for the scales of life that teach me what is actual. I pray I do not live in wishful thinking but in the truth. Amen.

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