Sleep

October 25, 2023

Love and sleep are related in many ways. I recall the many evenings I tucked my kids into their beds. After a busy day and evening, I lay beside my children, reading a story and then saying a prayer. By the time I finished the prayer, my child was asleep, and I was so relaxed that I often drifted into sleep as well. After a while, I would awaken and always felt somehow closer to that child. Why did this make me closer to my children?

In the studies of Heart Math, we understand that when our heart is beating in coherence with another's heart, we are in sync with that person in many ways. We are emotionally attuned to them and more spiritually at one with them, and there is a resonance between their body and ours. This is the answer to why we feel closer to those we are totally vulnerable with, including our animals.

Reaching heart coherence with someone is not a matter of just wiling it. In this society where we are pulled in different directions, our hearts are more linked to the vibrations of the multitude of projects we are concerned with. Therefore, to be in heart coherence with someone, we must detach from our busy concerns and join that person emotionally and spiritually. It is a form of presence.

Sharing our vulnerabilities is often a way to create heart coherence. Sharing a challenge, loss, fear or burden is a way to be vulnerable. I recall conversations with Henri Nouwen, my faculty advisor and teacher at Yale. I felt intimidated by this great man. So, when we met, I was nervous. Henri must have sensed this because he began inviting me to lunch meetings instead of meeting in his office. At these lunch meetings, Henri became vulnerable, telling me stories of growing up in Holland and being the brother of a sister with mental disabilities.

My heart was always in coherence with Henri during our talks at lunch. It made all the difference. Where does sleep come into this? Sleep is a vulnerable position. In coherence, our ego defenses go to sleep, and whether asleep or awake, we live from our soul, our higher self.

Inquiry: Can you reach heart coherence with others?

Dear God,

Grant that I may be in tune with the hearts of my brothers and sisters. Connect me to the qualities of vulnerability and the acceptance of others' vulnerability; qualities you place in us at our making. Amen.

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