Rocks

February 1, 2024

Many years ago, a lovely lady, dear soul, and patient appeared for her regular therapy session with me. A very bright person, Elizabeth, I will call her, was in the throes of leaving a loveless marriage and seeking her true self. Her children were grown with their own lives, and her husband didn’t care about her.

Elizabeth struggled to find her real life after years of living up to the expectations of others. On this particular day, I walked from my office to greet Elizabeth in the waiting room. There she was, sitting where she usually sits, but today, there was something very different about her. Around her neck, she wore a choker of large smooth stones on a thin hemp rope. The stones were disproportionately large for her neck and face.

She had no shoes, only sheepskins wrapped around each foot, held in place with what appeared to be rawhide strips. She wore a simple white, short-sleeved shift, and her handbag was a leather pouch. I greeted Elizabeth and escorted her to my consulting room. By the time we sat down, I had put two and two together and, with a smile, said, “Elizabeth, I like your clever Wilma Flintstone outfit; I am so glad you’re trying new things. Her reply was surprising:

“Dr. Howell, I don’t know what you are talking about,” to which I replied, “I am talking about your rock necklace and sheepskin shoes. Aren’t you dressed as Wilma Flintstone?” Elizabeth laughed, “Oh no, these are my clothes and stone necklace; my orthopedist corrected a problem on each of my feet. I am to wear these sheepskins until my follow-up visit this week.”

Whenever I think of this humorous memory, I recall the truth that appearances may not be what they seem to be. My ego had taken in Elizabeth’s appearance and deduced that she was in a costume. Her rocks were not part of a costume; they were jewelry. The truth was entirely different from my assumption. How often have you and I been inaccurately judged by someone because their ego categorized us into one of its boxes? How many times have we done it to someone else?

Our egos judge things every day and put them into categories. It’s easier for the ego if everything has a place in the boxes that make up its worldview. Our ego is often accurate, but its worldview is slanted by its lens, which distorts reality. How do we spiritually move in the world if our ego is always imposing its reality on actual reality?

The next series of Daily Reflections will be about this question.

Inquiry: Have you ever misjudged a book by its cover?

Dear God,

I am so thankful Elizabeth saw the humor in my mistake. Yet there are those times when my miss-takes are not funny; judgments slanted by my ego’s worldview can be serious miscarriages of justice. I pray for my soul’s ability to see reality without my ego’s distortions. Amen

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