Fun

February 14, 2024

One of the opposites of fun is grief. In soul work, there are two major categories of grieving. One is ego grieving, and the other is soul grieving. The unconscious ego grieves over our losses from an egocentric stance. The soul, however, grieves losses under the umbrella of spiritual surrender, a function of soul-centricity. The core qualities of these two griefs are very different.

Let's first reflect on ego grieving. The unconscious ego focuses on making its life story come true. When people and circumstances don't go the ego's way, they consider it a travesty or disaster. Though our ego believes other people and their needs, it much prefers doing this within the scope of its story of how it thinks life should go. Frequently, its goals are some of the soul's aspirations as well. Nevertheless, in profound loss, they must face the fact that life as they think they've constructed it has fallen apart.

The ego then reacts with sadness, anger, denial, vengeance, and more. After things fall apart, some egos may say, "I'll get back at those who caused this pain.” ("I'll be back," says Arnold Schwarzenegger's character in The Terminator). Another response could be, "How does God have the audacity to do this to me?" Another thought pattern may be, "What will people think of me when they learn I have lost my dream (person, status, job, health, marriage, friendship, reputation, etc.)? Another reaction to loss could be, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again." (Vivian Leigh as Scarlett O'Hara in Gone with the Wind.)

Now let's reflect on soul grieving, which, in its purest form, comes not from our ego mind but our depths, essence, and soul. The soul may have hopes and dreams, some of which may coincide with the ego's. However, the soul does not have a prescribed story that it's driven to make come true. The soul is in touch with its purpose on earth as part of the universal story that includes everyone and everything. It seeks to live in the present, and at its center is not the ego but the soul's heart connection to the Divine.

When there is a loss, the soul has pain, but it does not remain in that pain or disintegrate into it. Instead, it rises out of the pain. The developed soul identifies with Christ's words before his arrest, recorded by Matthew, "Going a little farther, He fell facedown and prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me. Yet not as I will, but as You will." (Matthew 26:39). The soul's response to loss is to move through the pain and surrender its hopes and dreams to the Divine story. Some soul grief responses are: “I do not understand, but I trust.” “I will find the meaning in this eventually.” “Divine healing is arising in me now.” “I am on a journey into wholeness.” “With God’s help, I will get through this.”

We human beings are complicated. Anomalies, shades of gray, accelerations, regressions, and fluctuations always exist. The ego may be the principal way we move through the world, but many egos have transformed into servants of the soul and respond to grief in tandem with the soul. Many egos are totally unconscious and egocentric. But underneath, even an unconscious ego is its soul, which always seeks a chance to express itself. Therefore, oftentimes, our response to grief is a mixture of ego and soul. Depending on stress, life stage, and circumstances, the unconscious ego or the soul with its servant ego predominates.

Fun is much the same as grief, although they are opposites. There is ego fun, and there is soul fun. The first is dominated by egocentricity, the other by soulcentricity. We will reflect on the two types of fun in tomorrow's Daily Reflection.

Inquiry: How do you grieve loss?

Dear God,

I am still learning the art of surrender, yet I pray for the will and the courage to do this, for I cannot do it alone. Amen

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