Fun

February 13, 2024

My father was an outstanding provider for our family and was a perfect embodiment of the Protestant Ethic. He worked hard all day and didn't tolerate me and my brother sitting idly watching television. He always said to us, "Television is the greatest vice perpetrated on the American public!" He finally gave up his struggle to keep the TV off. For Dad, having fun was a waste of time, and he thought it replaced work all too often.

Dad was not grim; he was pretty jovial and had many friends. But almost everything he did was around the company he built and led. Coming from a family of the Great Depression, Dad witnessed how ne'er-do-wells leached off others, were lazy and entitled. So, he thought it was his job to teach me and Trevor how to work so we would never consider ourselves privileged with the right to be lazy. Dad's famous line was, "I know you think I am tough on you, but it's my job to teach you how to be self-sufficient."

When we'd argue with him that our friends didn't have to work in the yard all day, and they had fun, he'd say, "Let me tell you, my work is my fun." We couldn't stand to hear that because that meant we were supposed to have fun raking leaves, mowing the grass, clipping the hedges, painting the outbuildings, and trimming the grass around the many flower beds with hand shears (before weed-eaters).

Well, Dad accomplished his job. My brother and I work a lot, and at least up till now, we've not had to depend on anyone for our livelihoods. But, because we were denied a lot of free time and had endless chores, we took every opportunity to have fun. In fact, having fun has become a priority for us, and in many ways, even now, we revere fun as much as we do work.

Though I love my father to the moon and back for all he did for us, the time he spent with us (although much of it was working), and the extraordinary life he gave us, I am saddened he was preoccupied with the fear of being poor like his family was in the depression. I didn't realize his fear when I was a child, but I can see it clearly now as an adult with my own daemons. This realization softens my heart towards my dad, and I hope my children forgave me for the times, because of my own avoidance, they felt I was unreasonable with them.

For me, fun comes in many ways, and I have always carved out time for it. Indeed, I knew on some level that I would wilt and shrivel up without fun, joy, and downtime. In my heart, I can talk with my father now, even though he is gone. He affirms me even though I do not kill myself working. Sadly, he spent his last few years incapacitated by a physical illness that robbed him of what he liked to do best: work. So, he had to find a way to live without what gave him the most satisfaction. Unfortunately, regardless of how worthwhile it was, his tireless work most likely brought on his illness. I hope that now Dad knows the soul quality of joyful fun.

Inquiry: Do you have a balance between fun and work?

Dear God,

Bless his soul. He tried the very best he could, and he loved us deeply. I pray that Dad now has the free time he never gave himself. Allow me to lay the pick and axe down whenever it is time for fun. In your Name, Amen

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