The Power of Hope

December 10, 2023

The opposite of hope is despair. In prolonged despair, we lose contact with inner light and instead focus on the pain of a seemingly unending condition. Our peace is hijacked by unsolvable circumstances which make us anxious, depressed and helpless. These conditions extinguish our living daylight and the hope born with us.

Few of us escape despair because it is part and parcel of life. One of our first despairs is the helplessness experienced as infants. We are hungry or need a new diaper, but no one comes to our aid. We wait for the caretaker; when they don’t come, we whimper, cry and scream. Adult despair is similar to the frustration, anger and unmet needs of our infancy. But instead of whining, crying or screaming like a baby, we turn our emotions inward or we act them out.

Infants eventually avoid despair by self-soothing until their caretaker arrives (see studies on self-soothing: Arnold Lazarus, 1993). In adulthood, self-soothing is also the key. But in adulthood, losing hope is a most difficult challenge and calls for adult soothing methods. Some of us turn to substances or other addictions. Some of us act out our emotions. We are not conscious that the profound despair of our unmet needs triggers our sadness or unconscious actions.

In despair, we first try the ego’s methods to lessen our pain. These are eventually ineffective. But in the spiritual life, we aim to turn to the soul. How does our soul soothe our despair? In the presence of the Great Essence, we are not alone or abandoned but are intimate with the miraculous. We feel the Divine’s support and guidance. We have hope once more. Our caretaker has come.

Inquiry: How do you self-soothe?

Dear God,

I am so thankful for the comfort I received from intimacy with you. In your presence, I am never alone; you provide new perceptions, support and affirmation. My ego cannot do this for me. Amen.

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