Different Strokes For Different Folks

July 12, 2023

All of us have set personality characteristics and inherent soul qualities. Yet there are many different sides to ourselves, some of which come and go, and some that surprise or even shock us when we realize them. When it comes to others, we may find it as difficult to accept their different sides as we do our own.

Re-known psychologist Carl Jung (1875-1961) understood that every person who identifies as feminine also has a masculine aspect called their animus. Likewise, he held that every person who identifies as masculine also has a feminine side called their anima.

Many people choose not to recognize aspects of themselves associated with other genders, especially in binary-oriented cultures. So, many people who primarily identify as female are reluctant to own their inner masculine archetypes such as the warrior, king/protector and their inner Odysseus. Similarly, people who primarily identify as male may ignore their inner feminine archetypes such as mothering/nurturing, feminine endurance/strength and their inner Athena.

And, of course, in all cultures, some accept their inner archetypes regardless of whether they are masculine or feminine, even in milieus, where they are not accepted.

Also within us are the beautiful and ugly parts of our psyches that emerge only in certain situations. An example is Aubrey, who is the picture of kindness and empathy. But when she is sleep-deprived and hungry, she is aggressive and mean. Then there is Andrew, who seems fierce and confident. Yet when his feelings are hurt, he goes into a shell.

Aubrey and Andrew feel shame and self-loathing when their shadow sides take over. We can all identify with these feelings. The answer is not to deny but to embrace our shadow side, understand it and discover what that aspect of ourselves is trying to protect. Then and only then can we devise healthy ways and means of dealing with that circumstance.

On the other hand, we are pleasantly surprised when positive things from our shadow side emerge. For example, passive and indecisive Pete had no idea that within him was a master chef who’d one day have his own restaurant. Lena had no idea that within her was a horticulturist who’d one day discover several unknown species of plant life.

Despite humanity’s broad groupings, we are not cookie-cutter people. Humanity is like one book with 7 billion individual copies; each has a unique font, language, illustrations, format, layout, paper thickness, print colors, etc. In the face of this vast ambiguity and overwhelming diversity, our egos try to help us by categorizing everything. Then it makes judgments according to its worldview; sadly, if something doesn’t fit into the ego’s schemata, it considers it as “other” or “unknown” and possibly threatening.

Yet we are unconscious when we categorize without respect for that which cannot easily be understood or is easily misunderstood.

In consciousness, we accept reality first. That is the only way we can make things better.

Inquiry: What is a potential within that you are unaware of at this point? Might you self-inquire about that?

Dear God,

I have often categorized other people and been so surprised when they were not who my ego thought they were. I pray for the consciousness to watch people bloom into their true selves without my ego judging them. I pray to accept others for who they are and to journey with them into wholeness. Amen.

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