Problems

March 5, 2024

After we solve the problems of meeting our physiological and security needs, we progress to the next level of problems associated with loving, being loved, and belonging.

We may ask, "How could loving possibly be a problem?" In fact, it is one of the most profound problems we have. American psychoanalyst, philosopher, and social critic Erich Fromm (1900-1980) contributed a landmark book, The Art of Loving. This work is based on what Fromm sees as the two essential needs of human beings: freedom and belonging. Fromm maintains that we are prisoners of alienation unless we solve the problems of freedom and love.

Fromm says we achieve freedom and belonging through the art of loving. He speaks of love in all its variations - romantic love, love of parents, the wider family, children, brotherly/sisterly love, self-love, erotic love, and God's love. But learning to love in any one of the above categories has an entire set of challenges all its own, such as:

1. What do I do if my love is not accepted, returned, or honored?

2. How can I best love others?

3. What if I stop loving someone? What do I do?

4. How do I continue when someone stops loving me?

5. How do I continue consciously instead of withdrawing because of my fear of being hurt by those I love?

6. If I am too afraid to trust someone with my heart, how do I meet my needs for love?

7. How do I deal with my desire of wanting to always be totally loved?

8. How can I receive love without possessing my beloved?

9. How do I love myself?

Inquiry: Tell me three people who know and understand the art of love. What do they do that lets you know this precious art?

Dear God,

To perfect the art of loving is a prayer of my soul. Please guide me and make me more sensitive to my own needs and to the needs of others. Give me the freedom to grow so I can love my true self, "the fulfillment of the seed you planted in me at my making. Out of the deep I cry unto Thee Oh God."

Amen

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