Meaning-Making Part 2
March 5, 2025
Meaning-Making Part 2
We gladly give resources to those things that mean a lot to us. And the things that mean the most are closest to our hearts. In other words, we are emotionally connected to the things that mean the most to us; therefore, that’s where our resources tend to go. But sometimes we place too much meaning on things that are not what they seem to be.
Phone scammers use several techniques to steal money from their victims. One is to scare the victim by impersonating the police and saying they have a warrant for the person’s arrest. (That technique has been used on me.) They say the arrest can be dropped if the victim pays a “bond payment.” Another scam technique is to tell the victim they have won a huge prize and then ask for a prepaid “delivery fee” as a money order or gift card.
There was a dear soul who, in her eighties, had recently lost her husband. She was lonely, grief-stricken, and, understandably, starved for affection. A friendly voice called to say she had won a new Mercedes-Benz. The lady was enchanted by the friendly, warm voice, and she stayed on the line. Several thousand dollars into the scam, the lady’s adult children got involved and listened in on one of the calls.
The man said things to her like, “I am so glad you won this car; you deserve it after all you have been through.” “You are the sweetest person.” “I bet any man would love just to hold your hand; I would if I were with you now.” Obviously, he groomed his victims by getting into their personal lives and flattering them. This lady looked forward to the calls, and was even willing to make “duty payments” (to him) for the new car that he said was waiting at the docks to be delivered to her.
The scammer was devious but clever. By feeling her out in conversations, he learned she craved hearing from him and would pay to listen to his words of comfort. She also loved feeling wanted and desirable and the scammer knew it. The lady’s adult children were shocked that their mother, a retired school principal, would fall for such a scam. But they knew that being grief stricken must have blinded her to reality and affected her reasoning. That man’s voice and what he conveyed were very meaningful to the lady, but she paid dearly for it.
At some time in our lives, most of us have fallen prey to our weaknesses. This brings on much needless suffering. However, once we identify our ego type, we can see its strengths as well as weaknesses. For example, my ego type blinds me to the fact that security is not a sure thing. When unaware of this blind spot, I tend to devote much more time, mental energy, and resources to achieving security than is required. Security becomes over-meaningful when I am in my ego. However, in reality, complete security is not attainable, so my expenditure of time and resources to attain it is a waste. In our unhealthy ego state, we are all trapped in pursuing something and putting more meaning behind it than it warrants. But living in our soulality, we see our traps much more readily. In soulality we are not chasing the illusions our ego sets up for us.
Spiritual practice: Look at your ego type and find its trap on the Enneagram of Traps and of Avoidances (refer to Becoming Conscious: The Enneagram’s Forgotten Passageway page 12.) Take the opportunity to reflect upon whether or not your trap and avoidance are more meaningful to you than are realistic. If they are, what will you do to see these for what they really are?
Self-inquiry: You may not be a scam victim, but are you paying with your time and resources for anything that promises something but doesn’t deliver it? If so, why is this thing so meaningful to you that you continue it?
Dear God,
Give me the courage to look at the things I will not see. In your name, Amen
